You Have To Date Short People Now, Leftists Say

( – According to a recent New York Times article, short people are best suited for long-term survival and are inherent conservationists who consume less. The essay’s author, who brags about her tiny kids who “eat like gerbils” and save money and food, recommend mating with a short partner to reduce future needs.

“There Has Never Been a Better Time to Be Short,” by Mara Altman, calls growing taller a widely held fantasy of superiority.

Altman says her twins are among the smallest in kindergarten and criticizes early human desires and biases. She writes she will not medicate them because of antiquated societal bias because short is better.

She’s protesting a little too much.

Altman says her children eat like gerbils, and their low percentiles save money and food. A pair of shoes can last a year. She prefers cactus-like growth.

According to Altman, short people live longer and have fewer cancer cases because they have fewer cells, where one goes wrong less often.

Altman says short people help the planet and the future. The author says short people conserve resources and may be best for long-term survival and not just because more of them can fit in spaceships when we are forced off this planet we wrecked.

Altman is short and can’t reach high shelves. She writes that tall people love to reach for things at the grocery store because it gives them purpose.

Wow. That’s the dumbest thing I’ve read this week.

Altman says choosing a short partner is eco-friendly. Lowering your dating profile’s height requirement is green. When you mate with shorter people, you reduce future generations’ needs.

According to reports, social media users mocked Altman’s essay.

One Twitter user said it was the Stupidest @nytopinion op-ed they’d ever read and
was considering cancelation.
Another said that not even 24 hours into 2023, the NYT has a bad take on how tall people are bad.

Ironically, while obesity is praised and encouraged by many on the left and in the entertainment industry, less consumption is conspicuously absent.

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